


Upgrades

by cminerva



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, Humor, mom and dad are getting it on, the kids know now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-04
Updated: 2019-08-04
Packaged: 2020-07-31 06:44:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20110861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cminerva/pseuds/cminerva
Summary: Fitz is asked to make some upgrades to Coulson’s prosthetic hand and Jemma knows why.





	Upgrades

**Author's Note:**

> I love every single fic that uses Coulson’s prosthetic hand to May’s benefit, but I’ve always wanted to see Fitz’s reaction if he ever realized how his creation was being used. So here it is!

“...not supposed to be a bloody feature...there are other core functions that should take precedence...”

It wasn’t unusual for Jemma to find her partner muttering over his projects in their lab, in fact that was generally her cue to interject and offer herself as a sounding board. Fitz seemed particularly frazzled today, so Jemma cheerfully stepped forward to lend him a hand with the _actual_ hand that was laid out on his workbench. 

“Everything okay, Fitz?” she asked. “Anything I can help with?”

Fitz let out a groan of frustration as he glared down at Coulson’s prosthetic hand. Jemma was truly impressed at how lifelike this model had turned out; Fitz had really poured himself into this project. Jemma knew this had been an act of love for him.

“I was supposed to be working on the upgrades I had prepared, but Coulson had a few requests and he must be _joking_ because they’re completely useless and are going to seriously limit my ability to add any new tech-”

Jemma stopped his rant with a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“What kind of requests?” she asked gently.

“There was a bug with the most recent version of the hand,” he told her. “It was just an occasional thing because I was experimenting with the tension on that model, but the hand would vibrate. Fixing that bug was on the list of things I was going to work on today, but Coulson was _very_ insistent that I make it a permanent feature.”

Fitz threw his hands in the air in frustration and looked to Jemma for sympathy.

“What possible use could that have? Can you tell me that, Jemma? And for just the fingers and base of the palm to vibrate makes even less sense-”

His words were cut short by Jemma’s surprised gasp.

Fitz stared at Jemma, but her eyes were trained on the floor as her expression shifted from startled surprise to a look he recognized as the victorious face she wore after proving a hypothesis.

“Jemma?”

Jemma ignored him and began to pace. When she spoke, her voice was higher than usual and she addressed the floor rather than her partner.

“I’ve wondered for some time if things had changed between them, if maybe they were, but this would certainly suggest, and really, this is a brilliant use of this technology, but if it has been a buggy feature, then I wonder if they discovered this capability by accident? Oh how frustrating if they can’t recreate it at will. Yes of course you’d need to make it controllable, but I wonder if there’s a way to control the speed and pattern as well, now that would really be something-”

Fitz had been staring at Jemma open-mouthed as she rambled on and paced, getting more animated as she went on. Nothing about what she was saying in her half sentences meant anything to him and finally he clutched at his head and yelled for her to stop.

“Jemma! What the bloody hell are you _talking_ about?”

She froze at his shouting and looked over at Fitz, her cheeks pink.

“Don’t you get it, Fitz?” she said, looking quite pleased with herself. “Coulson needs the hand to vibrate because he and May are using that function while they’re having sex.”

Fitz stared at her.

“They’re _what?_”

His hororstruck tone was matched by another voice as Daisy entered the lab. Jemma smiled brightly and turned to the other woman.

“Coulson asked Fitz to fix some bugs in his prosthetic hand. It’s been vibrating randomly, but he didn’t want him to get rid of that feature, he wanted Fitz to make it localized and controllable.” Jemma explained to Daisy. “I’ve been wondering for a little while now if the nature of May and Coulson’s relationship had shifted somewhat, and now here’s proof that it has, don’t you see?”

Fitz let out a small whimper and moved his chair away from the hand at his workstation. Daisy looked rather horrified as well, but stared at the hand a moment before cocking her head to the side and and letting out a fairly impressed “huh”.

“You know what,” Daisy said, still staring at the hand, “good for May. I mean, _damn_.”

Fitz wore three layers of surgical gloves despite Jemma’s admonishments, (“Fitz, don’t be silly, of course Coulson has washed his hands since the last time he touched May’s-” “Jemma don’t you _dare_ finish that sentence!”) and had to take regular breaks to clear his mind and wipe away any thoughts of Coulson and May making use of the prosthetic appendage in front of him. But at Jemma’s insistence, and with some additional capabilities she recommended to him (which he really would have to follow up on later when he could associate those functions with Jemma rather than May) he completed the modifications and had a passing agent deliver the hand to Coulson’s office. There was no way he could make that trip himself. He had printed out a list of the new upgrades with the most dispassionate and clinical terminology he could come up with and prayed to every deity SHIELD had ever come across that the Director would never ask him about the modifications in person.

At dinner that night, May couldn’t figure out exactly what was going on with the younger agents. Fitz would not meet her eye while Jemma and Daisy wouldn’t _stop_ looking at her and kept giving her beaming smiles, though she had no idea why. She wasn’t going to ask; she had a feeling she wouldn’t want to know.

Coulson on the other hand had a pretty good idea why Fitz refused to look in his direction and why Jemma’s entire face turned pink when he spoke to her; he knew he was right when Daisy winked at him then snorted as she turned back to her plate. He coughed to cover a laugh and shook his head at his team. May would be _so_ pissed if she knew why the kids were acting strangely tonight, but that was okay; with the latest upgrades on his hand (which he had a feeling he should thank Jemma for, should he ever wish to see her blush crimson and melt into the floor), he could more than make it up to her. Coulson grinned broadly down the table at May and laughed inwardly as the three young agents blanched. Tonight couldn’t come fast enough.


End file.
